Spin-off: Four Demonly Kings
Mission canon(s): Disney: Twisted-Wonderland
Part 5 of: Arare arc
Arare missions with Kaguya and Momoka.
The fic, titled "True Love's Kiss (Vil x Reader)", belongs to haley_khang and they're welcome to keep or do anything they want with it.
1
"Vil Scheonheit, indeed you are beautiful, elegant and strong... but you have focused on the beauty outside not inside. Therefore, I curse you to be second fairest in the land until the curse is broken by showing the world that your heart is the most beautiful across the land."
Former Royal Sword Academy student, Y/n, transfers to Night Raven College who goes into Savannaclaw. The royal preppy student is more than just looks and rule following, Y/n has a secret that puts Vil Scheonheit in a curse which only Y/n can break.
Mirror Chamber
The first-person crash dummy, now possessed by the nameless Sue, followed the headmaster Dire Crowley into the Mirror Chamber for their sorting. Unbeknownst to them, three beings were watching them from outside the windows, with one of them angrily barking out unparsable sounds.
"Kaguya-sama says the fic has been tossing out charge after charge after charge in such a short period of time, he hardly has time to speak," Momoka, as always, dutifully translated the noises her master was screaming out. "From the summary alone, the fic has broken a crucial piece of Vil's characterization. He isn't cursed; his career struggles are caused by equal parts life circumstances and his own actions. Making up this uncanonical 'curse' and then making the Suvian responsible for breaking it would be shifting the responsibility of his own character development onto someone else. This is not to mention all the misspellings. Besides – can I point out something I observed, Kaguya-sama? How does transferring work in NRC, given that its admission is invite-only?"
"Foolish humans! Don't you see I'm in grave danger over here?" Arare, disguised as a white mouse, shouted over Kaguya's "angry mode" screaming. He was surrounded by five mini-Overblots – Scheonheit, Savannaclaw, Crowley Dire, Pomfiore, Diasonmia. "What for the life of me are these grotesque creatures? Get them away from me, for heaven's sake!"
"These are minis; they are spawned whenever a badfic misspells canonical names or terminology," Momoka said as she scooped Arare off the flagstone path and placed him on her shoulder. "Minis for this canon are mini-Overblots. They look a bit nasty, but they won't hurt you."
"Do you expect me to believe you?" Arare said between pants. "All of you lot are putting me through horror after horror on purpose, I'm sure of it!"
Kaguya turned to him and cried something, which Momoka translated thus, "He says you are welcome to abandon the mission and go back to the RC, for he does not need your assistance regardless."
For the third time, Usuasagi Arare was subject to utter nightmare. Firstly, Kaguya and Momoka could disguise themselves as NRC schoolboys, Pomefiore and Octavinelle respectively, but Arare, cursed as he was, had to go as a tiny mouse. Secondly, the fic was a tad too efficient at producing scary-looking minis. Thirdly, Kaguya was being Kaguya; Arare was prepared for neither his sudden switch in temperament, nor his incomprehensible speech. Alas, Arare must persevere – the fate of his species depended on him.
3
Pomefiore Dorm
Afternoon snack at Pomefiore was, naturally, an elegant affair. Dainty apple tarts, small cupcakes crowned with berries, colourful macarons, cucumber and herbed egg salad sandwiches, and tea scented with touches of lavender and bergamot. For a pair of agents with a preference for elegance, this delightful repast in the dorm's garden could not be a better break from the fic's badness.
The Sue racked up a decent number of charges through the second and third chapters: turning Vil into a goody-goody knight-in-shining-armour saving the Sue from generic bullies and then Azul (and calling him my angel for good measure – the sight of Vil Schoenheit with wings and a halo was not something easy to forget); joining Jade's Mountain Appreciation club, which for plot-crucial reasons was supposed to be a one-man club; and making the Mostro Lounge serve a dish called "Tokayaki", whatever it was. After this, Momoka decided, they didn't need to jump to the next chapter just yet. They could afford to spend the afternoon lounging about in Octavinelle and Pomefiore dorm dress uniforms.
That said, the meal wasn't as perfect as it could have been, all thanks to one Arare. He was reduced to a shivering, whining wreck on the table. "What is that infernal liquid you're drinking?" he shrieked, watching Momoka pour herself and her master tea. "I can feel that thing scorch me to my core just looking at it!"
Kaguya threw him a coldly sharp glare as he sipped his tea, while Momoka explained, "This is black tea, brewed from dried tea leaves and sometimes flavoured. This tea is delicious; it reminds me of that fancy afternoon tea service at Nayotake Grand Hotel. I've never had one, though."
"You foolish humans call that tea? What do you idiots know about tea? Tea is supposed to be cold; we yukinbo freeze leaves and cones in crystals of ice, then leave them in cold water. The more I spend time around you, the more you baffle and horrify me."
Were Arare not an ice monster, Momoka too would have shoved a tart at his face.
The next minutes were peaceful as Arare helped himself to the safely cooler pastries. The minis, joined by newly spawned Bucchie, Roi du Rose and Rosenhearts, frolicked upon the white stone floor. As dapper as she could be in Octavinelle black-tie, Momoka momentarily pretended she was having fancy afternoon tea at the Hazama family's hotel opposite her beloved master Kaguya… until Arare ruined everything.
"I believe it's high time we get to the important matters," said the cursed yukinbo. "What do you fear?"
Kaguya audibly set down his porcelain teacup, said something garbled, then reached for a macaron. At this, Momoka's features registered a look of deep wistfulness, which confused Arare promptly.
"Kaguya-sama is a tea ceremonist. He loves floral-scented Western black tea as well as matcha whisked to a lightly frothy perfection," Momoka said, staring at the handsome long-haired gentleman in a kimono-like garment sipping tea across the table. "He doesn't like being told that tea ceremony and tea parties are pointless or pretentious, or that tea is just a drink. He enjoys beauty and finer things in life, and can't imagine living in a world where those things no longer exist.
"To him, badfics are a kind of desecration of the beauty of the world. Badfic forces are never looking to appreciate the beauty in fiction, or to respectfully contribute to it. They're looking to kick it down. He's afraid of what will happen to the world of fiction if the disrespect gets worse."
Arare, prominently scowling, continued, "What about you? You certainly must fear something, don't you?"
Momoka answered, her gloved hand idly tracing the gilded rim of her cup, "I have no living relatives, and my mother died giving birth to me. My father raised me by himself; just when I thought things would stay this way, he died when I was fifteen. Were the Hazama clan not there for me, I would've been utterly alone and lost, and suffered an untimely demise. My biggest fear is losing Kaguya-sama, losing the family I now have, losing the friends I've made."
"The lot of you all have to have ridiculously complex fears, don't you?" Arare remarked.
4
Classroom
The next day came by and I was starting to worry about making 'friends'. I could become friends with that Vil guy but I don't think he actually likes me.
I went into class and was so lost in thought that I didn't pay attention.
"You all seem to use strange tools in excursions into badfics," said Arare as the three entered a new chapter. "Do you mind teaching me to use them?"
"Yes, but please keep your voice down. We're in class, and we can't afford to get noticed by the Sue," Momoka whispered. They were seated at the most far-off corner of the classroom, with Momoka covering Kaguya's mouth with her hand. With her other hand, she reached into the Bag of Holding and took out a device. "This is the Canon Analysis Device; it detects how OOC a canon character is being made to be, or how serious a Suvian's influence is. You turn it on and…"
The CAD immediately turned into foul-smelling dust, while Kaguya let out a muffled yell.
"Unfortunately, it tends to malfunction," Momoka continued, "But there's no need to worry, Kaguya-sama is very sensitive to badfic shenanigans. He says this fic is distressingly boring and meandering, it takes forever to get to the point without offering any interesting info, though at least it isn't just stealing the game's story."
"Alright, now I could not care less what that stupid kid says. I want to learn about that other device you use, the one that creates portals."
Momoka bit back the urge to punch Arare across the room and took out another device. "That would be the remote activator; you can use it to skip to other points in the fic. Yes, Kaguya-sama, what did you say? Yes, I'll skip the chapter now; it is indeed boring."
"Hang on, let me do the skipping," Arare said, snatching the RA from Momoka. "Where do you want to go?"
"The rest of this chapter is just the Sue going to Heartslabyul for group study and some talk, then the next two chapters is the Sue having some talk about giving Vil a gift, and then playing Magical Shift… Oh dear me, this fic is so boring! It goes on and on forever!" she said as she skimmed the Words, at which point Kaguya nodded furiously. "Let's skip to the latter half of chapter 6, there seems to be important info there."
Arare tentatively pressed some buttons, and a portal appeared.
6
Savanaclaw Dorm - Magift Stadium
"This appears to be it; thank you, Mr. Usuasagi," Momoka said. The three and the minis landed in the grandstand of the crowded Magift stadium, just in time to see the Sue get praised by other students that no one was this close to beating Leona. This lead Kaguya and Momoka to shout at the same time, one more intelligible than the other, that the fic had seemingly forgotten about Malleus. As the two focused on collecting more charges, they did not notice the satisfied smile on Arare's face.
"Um," the little boy from earlier timidly walked up to me. Using my kindest voice I said, "Hey there little fella.".
[…]
"You're so cool, the way you used your magic and stuff. Do you think you could teach me? I'm Epel, by the way." This cute little Angel was asking me, his senpai, to help him. I couldn't refuse such a sweet little guy.
"Indeed, the fic seems to think Epel is an idiot. He should have seen people use magic before," Momoka responded to her master as Epel too randomly sprouted angel wings and a halo. "Besides, why does the fic keep calling people angels? Oh, I apologize for forgetting about the random fangirl Japanese. Charge for using an invisibility spell for no reason; invisibility is unique to Chenya."
"Oi, how much longer are we gonna sit here listening to insipid conversation?" Arare cried. "And you said there's important information here! I'm skipping ahead!"
"Mr. Usuasagi, wait!" Momoka yelped.
8
Main Street (night)
They landed in a heap. Kaguya, face down at the bottom of the pile, spat out ugly noise after ugly noise. This lead Momoka, who was right on top of him, to inadvertently knock Arare and the minis to the ground in her scrambling to help him up. She was in the middle of profusely apologizing and wiping dust off Kaguya's school uniform when she remembered something, and so she rushed over to Arare.
"Mr. Usuasagi, what are you doing?" she cried furiously. "You can't just skip without asking everyone else first! What if you drop us right in the middle of the sea or something? Please give me the RA…"
But before she could snatch the little handheld device, Kaguya grabbed her shoulders from behind and turned her around.
No one answered. Malleus had already left, who else would be here? Or was it just his imagination?
"Let's go." The monster finally appeared and Rook quickly grabbed his bow top stop the beast from eating him. The bow was trapped in his jaw so Room kicked the bow which made the monster fall back.
"What on earth is going on? The fic went from boring to really weird!" Momoka said, aghast, as a monster randomly appeared and chased down Rook Hunt. Shortly after, Room the mini-Overblot appeared and Rook turned into a room that was capable of kicking, shocking her further.
"You see, kid, I landed us right where actually important action is going on. I'm really getting the hang of this thing," Arare said. "But, in all honesty, can we leave this place early? That creature is rather unnerving."
The minis, joined by newly spawned Roi du Thorns, all hid in the bushes as though in agreement.
Kaguya spoke, and Momoka translated, "Since this fic won't get to the point any time soon, let's skip to the next chapter and take down the Sue. Kaguya-sama is also worried about your human-scaring capabilities."
9
Classroom
I have to be careful. Whatever happened yesterday may have not been good. Someone may have found me out since I do remember voices, although it's really hazy I know there was a voice. I also got a cut on my arm. Don't know where that's from.
I sigh. I should've skipped school. My brain is full of suffocated thoughts that I can't focus on this lesson, but the Sue promptly found themself staring at the tip of a kitchen knife.
"The PPC convict you of crimes against fanfiction," said the Octavinelle student pointing the knife amidst the stares of the rest of the classroom. "Charges against you include defeating Vil's character progression by inventing a nonsensical, uncanonical curse; turning him into a goody two-shoes; creating an excessively tedious and meandering story that is way longer than it needs to be; joining a one-man club; being the only one who comes close to beating Leona at Magift, thereby ignoring Malleus's existence; randomly turning other people into angels; fangirl Japanese in a fic that's not in Japanese and not in a Japanese setting; randomly having a monster attack NRC campus; turning Rook into a room; somehow knowing invisibility magic even though that's unique to Chenya; creating too many minis; and being a Sue. You're to be summarily executed."
The Sue soon became a punctured and deflated crash dummy, the students and the teacher were neuralyzed, and the missioning team return to HQ with the minis – but neither Kaguya nor Momoka noticed the satisfied look on Arare's face.
He had formulated a plan.
Minis:
- Scheonheit
- Savannaclaw
- Crowley Dire
- Pomfiore
- Diasonmia
- Bucchie
- Roi du Rose (from Roi des roses) (adopted)
- Rosenhearts
- Room
- Roi du Thorns (from Roi des dragons) (adopted)
