[INTERLUDE] 45: Made in Meido-house

Spin-off: Four Demonly Kings
Part 1 of: Colour Swap Arc

The Four Demonly Kings get a temporary part-time job at a maid café. Not many things can go wrong.

The Sleep Mellon was originally written by Alleb, based on ambiguous syntax in a badfic by bloodyrose2014.

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Made in Meido-house (メイド・イン・冥土ハウス❤, purposefully with the second meido meaning "the underworld") was a peculiar beverage establishment in New Caledonia. In fact, it was peculiar even by New Caledonia standards. It had exactly one item on its menu – classic bubble tea with severely overcooked tapioca pearls – and didn't even have omelette rice, but still had a good number of customers and returned a healthy profit for its owner. The reason was quite simple.

The patrons did not visit the café for the drinks. The place, as its name indicated, was a maid café, staffed by humans and non-humans of many varieties. The drinks served were awful and showed no signs of improving, but the waitstaff donned increasingly high-quality, impressive dresses with frilly aprons, and it was all that mattered.

This was where the Four Demonly Kings took up part-time work to raise money for a vacation.

"Those two are quite popular, aren't they?" Inasuke said to Momoka sadly. His maid outfit was pretty – a pink dress, a white apron, polished red Mary Janes, and pink wearable rabbit ears. His minis Booky and Vill dressed in the same outfit for further cuteness, but not many customers gave Inasuke a second glance. "Look at Ura-chan; he hasn't served a single drink, and people flock to him!"

"Kaguya-sama has experience in the hotel industry, after all," Momoka said. She wore a Chinese-inspired ensemble: a sleeveless pink dress with a mandarin collar, cloth buns to wrap her side pigtails in, and gartered stockings to accentuate her legs. She didn't get many customers either, but she hardly minded. "Former tea ceremony club president, certified tea ceremony practitioner. His club always did crossdressing maid café for cultural festivals. No way I can measure up to someone with such breadth of experience."

The crowd Urato and Kaguya drew was the stuff of legends. About half of the café's patrons gathered round the small stage where Urato was performing. His outfit was striking: a skintight sailor shirt to show off his musculature, a short black skirt with a red apron, and a garter around his strong thigh. He was expertly balancing on top of a ball, the Sleep Mellon was in turn balancing on top of his head, and he was juggling three oppasho rocks as though they were air-filled balloons. "Ey, when's 'nother eight servings comin'?" he shouted in the kitchen's direction above the cheering. "I ain't buyin' time f'rever, yanno!"

Meanwhile, Kaguya drew a sizeable audience of his own in a different way. He dressed wa-maid style – a subdued, dark kimono with a simple white apron. His makeup was impeccable as always, and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses added a touch of masculinity. Inbetween serving drinks and pleasant conversations, there was much smiling, chuckling, winking, hair-flicking, forearm-baring and moe-moe-kyun-ing on his part, effectively sending many human and non-human hearts fluttering.

But there was a problem.

One more customer from Kaguya's side left to join Urato's cheering crowd. As experienced and charming as he was, he couldn't quite measure up to Urato's impressive, exciting talent display. The Four Demonly Kings' ultimate goal was to pool their profits rather than to compete, but Kaguya couldn't help the sinking feeling at his customers' dwindling numbers.

He used to be a crowd magnet at school cultural festivals.

"Hey, you. Yes, you, long-haired fellow," said a female customer, who wore a long-nosed tengu mask and an opaque raincoat. She was clearly not human – a large pair of bird wings grew out of her back, though covered all over in black plastic wrap. "Thank you a bunch. You're quite enjoyable to be around; you're the first waiter I've seen to not bore me to tears."

"Thanks Mistress for your kind words," Kaguya answered. "Though, I'm hardly the vivid, colourful type."

The tengu glanced at the stage, then looked back at Kaguya. "I see," she said. She then rummaged in her raincoat for a moment, then handed Kaguya a white, spherical object the size of a cherry. "This is a token of my gratitude. Take this beauty treatment pill; you'll attract lots of customers in no time."

Shortly after, all merriment stopped. Kaguya was having difficulty staying on his feet.