Spin-off: Fairy Godfathers
Mission canon(s): Disney: Twisted-Wonderland
Part 3 of: Homeland Visit arc
Fáelán takes his partners along on a mission into his home universe.
The fic, titled "The Falcon", doesn't fully belong to moss5687 as it contains significant quantities of copy-pasted official content, but they're welcome to what they've actually created.
⚔️Welcome to the villains world⚔️
Night Raven College
After Fáelán was given a tour of Helena and Sheen's homeland, it was only natural that he was requested to give them one to his continuum in return.
Main Street
Right off the bat, Helena decided this continuum was pretty cool. Once she was done marvelling at her male disguise and Ignihyde school uniform, she said to her partners, "Y'know, this place seems a lot more awesome than I expected. Even the clothing is top-notch! Filus, look at you; that waistcoat of yours has got to be the best eyesore-inducing green I've ever seen!"
Fáelán rolled his eyes, while Sheen, in Scarabia uniform, said, "The next chapter hasn't begun yet, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be prepared. Portavius, would you mind recounting the charges you've collected?"
"Let's see, the Gary Stu has created an extra dorm," Fáelán said, pointing to the first bullet point on his charge list. As established in the - Info chapter the agents had suffered through, the Stu named M/n L/n (on which an author's note helpfully stated that xianniang's last name wasn't disclosed in the movie so just come up with one) was to enter a nonexistent eighth NRC dorm called rourania (alternatively Roaranai and roarania). The dorm was headed by another Stu named Wen khan (alternatively Wen bori), who according to the fic was based on Bori Khan from the 2020 live-action adaptation of Mulan. "Not only that, the Stu's powers are ridiculous; a unique magic that at once allows him to possess people, shape shift into those he possesses, use their unique magic at half power and shape shift into a falcon has too many effects to be believable. This pretty much cements his Stu status!"
"Is there anything else?" Sheen asked.
"The Stu is apparently a 'natural born witch', whatever that means. Leona is inexplicably aged down so it's 'more legal', whatever that means too. He's that old because he's held back; making him younger literally changes his personal history in a major way."
But before Sheen could ask Fáelán for anything more, Helena ran up to them and interrupted them. "Hey, what are you doing? Are you not gonna explore or anything? We're in a whole new universe; we'll have plenty of time to rage at badfic soon enough, why not spend any precious minute we can get to see and do new things?"
Fáelán expected Sheen to clap back and the two to start bickering, but instead Sheen said, "You know, you have a point. This is an unfamiliar continuum to us, and in order for this mission to proceed smoothly, it's Portavius's responsibility to thoroughly familiarise us with it. The next chapter is approaching; shall we proceed?"
O N E
Library
"What do you mean you don't know the canonical plotline?" Sheen cried frustratedly at a flustered Fáelán. "Aren't you a native inhabitant of this continuum?"
It was merely the first chapter proper of the fic, yet already the agents ran into a problem. As they quietly watched the Stu interact with the headmaster, an unknown human and an unknown, rampaging feline creature in the library, both CADs they carried overheated at an alarming speed. Helena's read [Player character. Canon, human, non-magic user. Grim (CV: Sugiyama Noriaki). Canon, male monster, magic user], while Sheen's read [PLAGIARISM ALERT: Significant quantity of dialogues copy-pasted from the canonical game].
Fáelán was baffled by the revelation. "Wait, those two are canon?" he asked, gesturing at the unknown human and the animal. "And this exchange was copied from canon? Wow, I didn't know this."
Sheen was not amused, and not only because his CAD was hit by one of Grim's blue fireballs before it could properly overheat to nothing. "This is your continuum. You're supposed to be more well-versed in it than we are. It's your responsibility to guide us, and yet you come to us with this nonsense?"
The cat looked around and now seemed to notice my (the Stu's) presence, but also noticed that thing the wrapped around the cats body is now from me. "Me-YEOW! That hurt! What gives!" a presence appeared behind him. 'Ah that must be the headmaster huh.. He kinda looks like a nerd..' I thought.
"Consider it tough love. Ah, I've found you two at last. Great. I trust that you two are this year's new students..? My were you two eager to make your debuts" The headmaster remarks. Then looked at the person I forgot to get the name of.
"And you brung a poorly trained familiar with you? That is a clear violation of the school Rules."
That cat started to yell again, "As if I'd serve some lowly human! Now let me go!"
The headmaster began again, "Yes, yes. Most rebellious familiars say that. Do be quite won't you?" "Mmmrph!" Dear me.. Of all the student I've dealt with you two are the first one who had opened their own gates and stepped out of it.."
"Yep, now I understand why those people's dialogues are slightly better worded than everything else, brung and quite aside," Helena commented after her charred CAD was tossed away. "Plagiarism is no joke; an artist like me knows how bad it is. Imagine all the artistry, the creativity, the work that went into the creation of a drawing, or in this case an entire universe, only for a Suvian to come along, steal huge chunks of it, and call it a fic of their creation. This fic is worse than I thought."
"You see, this fic commits such a serious offense, which you were unable to spot because you don't know enough canonical plotline to detect that it's being ripped off," Sheen continued to Fáelán. "Now that both CADs we have are thoroughly destroyed, who knows what other offenses we'll end up missing thanks to your lack of canon knowledge."
As they spoke, the headmaster Dire Crowley provided the exact same exposition he did in canon about the coffin-shaped portals used to transport new students to NRC campus. The Stu thought in reaction to the dialogue that he himself had ripped off from the source material:
'Ahhh this is sooo boring I know all of this already-'
"Charge for being annoying," Fáelán said loud enough for his partners to hear, "like the two people with me right now."
"You…" Sheen seethed, but the chapter ended before he could say anything more.
T W O
Mister S's Mystery Shop
The second chapter was yet to begin, and so Fáelán lead the group to the on-campus general store in order to stop Helena from pestering him to let her explore the school. It worked like magic – Helena was nigh on fainting upon discovering the mountains of wicked goods behind the door to Mister S's Mystery Shop, then immediately bolted for the shelves at a speed not even fast-flying talents were capable of.
Fáelán had no time to warn her not to wreck the shop. Sheen tapped his shoulder and said to him, "Excuse me, I believe I've not yet finished discussing with you about your incompetence."
Fáelán replied, "Excuse you, I know my universe pretty well; I'm just not interested in the story set in it. Have you forgotten I want to get away from my universe? Why would I play a game about it?"
"But the knowledge is necessary for the mission. If you're not interested in the story, couldn't you at least have brought the Pocket Fictionary?"
"Yes, I fully understand what a responsible agent you are," Fáelán said. "I also sorely need your counsel on how to protect my own home continuum. While I may not have heard about two canon characters or known this fic is a rip-off, I was born in and grew up in this world, I've studied in this school, I know key students in the student body. I can still tell when this fic gets my world and my school wrong, like…"
In the middle of their heated exchange, Helena came back carrying a sizeable paper bag. She couldn't have looked happier…
Mirror Chamber
… and then the chapter started. The force of the scene change would have knocked them all to the ground if not for the crowd of generic students around. Helena went from happy to panicked – the package she had bought was nowhere to be found. While the entrance ceremony ensued, she crawled on the floor like a rat in a forest of legs, searching for the package like her life depended on it.
"M/n.. Ah the nature of your soul is similar to those of rourania. Therefore you are picked for rourania." the mirror announced.
The people in the crowd for some weird reason looked at me weirdly as I heard people talking about me. I sighed knowing that they are probably dissing me for being a L/n. Whatever.
I walked to Wen and offered my hand. He took and shook it. "Welcome to the dorm M/n." he told me then whisperd something to me and I walked away. "The current vice dorm leader is too weak. You will take his place. Understood?" I nodded and walked to a seat.
"… like the fact it does not have an eighth dorm, and it makes no sense that a dorm leader would appoint a new freshman he knows little to nothing about to become a vice dorm leader," Fáelán continued his words from earlier. "Why not appoint someone from his year? Or if that fails too, not having one at all is also acceptable."
"For Neverberry cobbler's sake, you two are still going on about that?" Helena cried from below. "I need to find those golden star-shaped fruits I just bought; those can make a year's worth of yellow paint! Seriously, where did the bag go?"
After M/n the Stu was selected into the nonexistent dorm, the fic proceeded more or less like canon: the canonical player character could not be sorted anywhere, as they possessed no magic. While the headmaster Crowley acted canonically shocked by this, the Stu narrated the following:
Honestly.. I would like [Crowley] have no magic, or even not be a witch in the first place. Maybe even live a normal life. But I know that would never happen.. I then noticed Grim chewing off his restraint.
"Dear me, this is one annoying Gary Stu. He's seriously grating on my nerves," Fáelán said. "Well, more so than my partners are already doing."
Neither Helena nor Sheen could answer; Grim had broken free and subsequently went on his canonical rampage in the hall. A quaking floor, an onslaught of blue fireballs, glass windows shattering one after another, a crowd of panicking and screaming students; it was total chaos. The RA chose this moment to be absolutely irretrievable as Sheen rummaged through the Bag for dear life; luckily, Fáelán cast a protective spell over his own and Sheen's heads before they could be hit by a large fireball.
But it was still not yet time to be relieved. "Where's Helena?" Fáelán asked. Not even a second later, the fairy in Ignihyde disguise stood up in front of him, grabbed the collar of his ceremonial dress robes and began shaking him furiously.
"What have you done?" Helena cried, holding up a piece of something yellow. "I've just bought the fruits, and yet you go and stand on them! Now how am I gonna make yellow paint? These fruits have the best shade of yellow I've ever seen!"
"What in Neverland is wrong with both of you?" Sheen yelled back. "First Portavius's lack of canon knowledge, now your treating the mission as a field trip? Do you want it to succeed or not? I can't believe this level of irresponsibility!"
This was when an exasperated Fáelán finally managed to grab the RA and portal the team out of the chapter.
T H R E E
M/n's POV
Roaranai Dorm:
.
.
.
"Ha." I smirked. I then transformed into a falcon. I flew out through the top which Kun (current vice dorm-leader) didn't notice so, I may or may not have debated messing with him- wait.. I probably shouldn't, Wen is on the bench beside us.. Man.. Hey the view is actually nice- I sighed then got back to planning.
I decided to just knock him out. Easiest way yeah? So I flew at him to make a direct hit right on his face to my wing.. Which may or may not have hit him right in the back of the head as he fell to the ground. I held back my laugh. Seeing him laying there passed out, after he just talked some shit to me feels good. Eventually I transformed back to myself. I looked down at Kun and back up, only to be met with Wen's eyes.
"Good job. I will report this to the head master. You are officially the new vice-dormleader."
"Alright, fight over. M/n and Wen, you're under arrest for crimes against fanfiction," Fáelán announced. "M/n L/n, you are charged with creating an extra dorm, but not even bothering to spell its name consistently; being stupidly overpowered, namely having a nonsensical unique magic that has too many effects to be believable, and being a 'natural born witch'; changing Leona's age, thus changing his personal history; having annoying and insufferable behaviour and attitude; having a boring narrative voice; and plagiarizing canonical dialogues. Wen khan, you are charged with creating and heading an extra dorm; and nonsensical motivation, namely replacing an incompetent vice dorm leader with a newly admitted freshman. Both of you are charged with being Gary Stus and misrepresenting how Night Raven College works. You are sentenced to going down along with your nonexistent dorm."
With a swish of Fáelán's magical pen, the Stu dorm and its Stus in charge went down in flames.
There was only one thing left to do: integrate evacuated generics from the Stu dorm back into canon. Once again, the Reality Rooms were packed with NRC students attending a "re-entrance ceremony" to sort them into canon dorms.
This was not a pleasant affair for the three agents overseeing the ceremony. Fáelán was short on breath and his throat was sore from continuous speaking to neuralyzed generics, Helena was still dejected from her loss of paint ingredients. Sheen however was displeased with something else.
Given the level of professionalism his partners had displayed in this mission, Sheen concluded, there was only one way to ensure similar mishaps would not happen should the group be deployed into Fáelán's home world again.
A/N: The main Stu is also guilty of ripping off a canon character's powers – he has the ability to shapeshift into an animal without outside aides such as potions, which canonically is unique to Jack Howl. However, this charge cannot be named in-story as the agents have no way of knowing this canon detail.
