Spin-off: Four Demonly Kings
Mission canon(s): Disney Fairies | Tinker Bell
Part 3 of: Pennacook Club Membership arc
Urato and Inasuke's gentleman lesson begins properly this time.
The fic, titled "Clara in Pixiehollow!" belongs to katmar1994 and they're welcome to keep or do anything with it.
Chapter 1: Mirror Portal!
"Come on, knock yourself out. We're here to party," Inasuke said, once again in a fairy disguise. In his left hand was a plate of muffins studded with berries and several kinds of nuts, in his right a tray of rose petal jam, acorn butter and whipped cream, and on his head a lemon pie topped with toasted meringue so high as to resemble a hat. He struggled to fly under the load, but he didn't mind. "Well, party in a high-class, refined way. The most important quality of any gentleman or lady is good table manners, so that's where we'll start."
"Ya just lookin' fer excuses tah gobble sweets," Urato deadpanned. Not many dishes available interested him, and so laid out on the table before him were only an unimpressive loaf of sunflower seed bread and a wedge of basic mouse cheese. "There ain't even any meat 'round here, n' ya call dis a party?"
Right on the heels of a ludicrously short mission into an Alice in Wonderland badfic labelled as Tinker Bell, the two received a mission into a "proper" Tinker Bell badfic in short order. Thus, the gentleman lesson Urato requested could truly begin – in theory. Before the fic started, Inasuke took Urato to the Tearoom – an extravagant feast hall situated not far from the Pixie Dust Tree, carpeted in daisies, curtained in iris and furnished with tables and chairs made from wrought twigs and colourful leaves – but had yet to actually start instructing Urato in table manners. Bored and exasperated, Urato took another bite of cheese while Inasuke flew over to the buffet table stacked with treats, took the time to hesitate between tarts filled with jam the colour of northern aurora and red cupcakes frosted with cherry blossom cream, then came back with two cups of peppermint tea laced with honey.
But life was never easy, not in the PPC. The second Inasuke set the teacups down on the table, the environment vanished – the hall, the furniture, the food. The only thing that remained was the teacups, which landed on the featureless ground and spilled tea into a messy puddle.
It was a beautiful snowy, wintry morning day in the lively city of London.
The surrounding soon morphed into a generic, snow-covered London street, albeit badly modelled and textured, unlike the fancy tearoom earlier. "Oi, I think da badfic's startin'" Urato said, producing a notepad and a pen. "C'mon, let's geddis over with."
"What do you mean 'get it over with'? We've barely started the lesson!" Inasuke said, but immediately the scene shifted – the agents were now inside a dance studio, rendered as hideously as the outside.
Now this young girl's name was Clara and she was hoping to get the lead female part in the production of the Nutcracker Ballet.
To those who knew Clara, they saw a beautiful girl with shining blond hair, dazzling blue eyes and soft milky white skin to boot.
"I've got to hurry or else I'll be late!" Clara said to herself, she was running all the way to the dance studio where class was being held.
Clara then decided to take a short cut through a couple of alleys that she had taken before and finally made it to the studio on time.
"Ugh, does this fic have no concept of paragraphs?" Inasuke said once he caught sight of the Words. "Every dratted sentence is on a different paragraph; besides, does it have to mention Nutcracker too? Charge for bad formatting and causing flashbacks to that Nutcracker fic with the paragraphing problem!"
"See, how're we gunna study anythin' at dis rate?" Urato said, while Clara the Sue had a totally pointless conversation with her friend Rue. "Now yer busy shoutin' at da fic. Dat's why I wanna end dis quickly."
But his words went unheard. After a badly paced ballet lesson scene breezed by, the huge mirror behind the Sue start to glow a golden color which only got brighter the more Clara danced to that music. When the Sue approached the glowing mirror, a hand come out of the mirror and pull her into it, at which Inasuke yelled, "Charge for blatantly ripping off Twisted Wonderland!"
Chapter 2: Meeting the Queen!
Before the first chapter wrapped up, the agents had collected a decent amount of charges. The Sue's first actions upon finding herself transported into Pixie Hollow earned the following: calling Anastasia a Disney movie, excessively quoting song lyrics, singing during a ballet performance, randomly singing and dancing instead of trying to get back home or survive. That the fic also apparently thought new fairies were brought into the Hollow by Peter Pan rather than materializing from the first laughters of human infants sent Inasuke for another round of rage.
But things got better somewhat came the second chapter. Taking sweet time before the chapter started, this time Inasuke took Urato to a clothes shop. Once again, Urato felt as though in hell; Inasuke was whizzing through racks upon racks of garbs made from petals and leaves, and soon Urato found himself buried under a pile of fairy textile.
"A gentleman dresses well, it's common sense," Inasuke said. "How about you try on this morning glory coattail? Hey, look at this cute little poinsettia leaf bow tie! Oh, this frilled spider silk shirt is top notch! Have you ever seen such a perfect shade of raspberry? Mmm, even smells like raspberry too!"
Urato had had enough.
"Willya shut up?" Urato roared, then plucked a short skirt from the pile burying him and threw it at Inasuke's face with devastating accuracy. "What part o' dis is a lesson? Ya clearly ain't tryina teach me at all!"
Inasuke was just about to protest and throw something in return when the fun was interrupted again. The shop and the clothes disappeared; in their place materialized an undescribed location, where the human Sue woke up surrounded by fairies and met Queen Clarion.
Soon everyone was at the pixie dust tree and they were all chatting about the young human girl who was in the arms of Queen Clarion.
The Queen smiled at the minsters of the seasons and her beloved sparrow man as they waited for her to set down Clara in the middle of them.
The lesson was forgotten once again, as minsters and Minster the mini-sprinting thistles appeared and Lord Milori, being referred to as a sparrow man uncapitalized, was rendered as a male Passer domesticus. "Ugh, do they really have to remind me of that fic with the mouse too?" Inasuke muttered.
Queen Clarion went on to talk about how Clara would help defeat the monster raven that had been created by Drosselmeyer to spread darkness.
"Drosselmeyer? Like from the Nutcracker...the monster raven?! Isn't he from Princess Tutu?!" Clara wondered as she thought about her fave anime.
"Not only is this fic alarmingly inaccurate, it's also an unlabelled crossover," Inasuke continued to whine; Dorsselmeyer the Mouse of Misspelling clinging to his forehead bangs did not make him feel any better. "This fic is just a mess! It gets every little thing about Tinker Bell canon wrong, and it randomly pulls other canons in without bothering to warn the readers about it. It clearly doesn't care about anything it claims to be writing about; what even is the point?"
Queen Clarion placed a beautiful pendant around Clara's neck. "This pendant is the key to your transformation." Queen Clarion said happily to Clara.
Clara looked at the pendant and saw that it was similar to the one that Duck wears from princess tutu so she's able to transform when she has to do so.
After Queen Clarion talked for a few more moments, all the fairies went back to work while Queen Clarion, the ministers and the winter sparrow man left and Inasuke exclaimed, "His name is Lord Milori, you idiotic Sue!"
"Alright, that is it! You're under arrest!" Inasuke continued when the Sue was the only one left. "On orders of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are convicted of lack of basic knowledge of Tinker Bell canon, namely claiming that new fairies are brought into the Hollow by Peter Pan; lack of basic knowledge of ballet despite claiming to be trained in it – for your information, you don't sing in ballet; terrible formatting, namely overly short paragraphs; excessive quoting of song lyrics; calling Anastasia a Disney movie; making questionable decisions, namely breaking out into song and dance upon ending up in a strange place rather than trying to get home; turning Lord Milori into a bird; ripping off a concept from Twisted Wonderland, namely the Dark Mirror; crossing over with The Nutcracker and Princess Tutu without warning; being given powers that don't exist in Tinker Bell canon; reminding PPC agents of two painful badfics; and being an obvious Mary Sue."
All the while, Urato just sat back and watched, having nothing to contribute.
"Come on, it was just because we were on a mission. Now that there's nothing to distract us, we can really start our lesson," Inasuke said. "Hey, where are you going?"
Urato didn't seem willing to hold a conversation. He was digging through the mess in his room and then the pile of plushes in Inasuke's, searching for an exit from the RC. "If ya dun wanna teach me, ya coulda said so in da first place," he said. "Ya obviously don't wanna teach me a thing; ya were either whinin' at da fic or goin' all in gorgin' on cakes n' cooin' at pretty clothes, not even lookin' at me. Why didja need to waste my time like this?"
"Because I want to beat Hazama-sempai too. When it comes to knocking him down a peg, I want to contribute, no matter how little. Come on, give me another chance?"
"But obviously ya dunno how ta be a gentleman; some Vil stan you are," Urato sneered. "Even if I let ya teach me, what're we gunna do? Just sit in yer room starin' at pillows all day?"
This touched Inasuke's nerve. "Fine!" he cried. "I'll learn to become a gentleman, and I'll get into Pennacook Club! I'll beat both Hazama-sempai and you!"
Minis:
Mini-sprinting thistles:
- Pixiehollow
- minsters
- Minster
Mice of Misspelling (The Nutcracker):
- Dorsselmeyer (adopted)
