Spin-off: Four Demonly Kings
Mission canon(s): Touken Ranbu
Part 5 of: Colour Swap arc
For the third pill ingredient, the team ends up running into a slight weather problem, and a revelation from Urato about the coveted vacation sours Momoka's mood.
Warning for in-fic objectionable content: glorified abuse; sexism. Additional warning for mentions of sexuality and suicide.
The fic, titled "Hikari no Tamashi", belongs to Kohana Uzumaki and they're welcome to keep or do anything with it.
- A fragment of the night
Perfume of daylight- A seed of time
Cloth of fleetingness
The search for the third ingredient began, now with a change in plans. There Inasuke was in the garden, donning a Shinsengumi uniform; he was basking in the gentle glow of stone lanterns, straining his eyes in the dark for anything that could conceivably qualify as a pill ingredient.
He was doing so all by his lonesome.
The reason was simple: the mission involved Touken Ranbu canon, which Inasuke was the only one having no familiarity in. He thus decided to take on solo ingredient hunting, while Urato, Kaguya and Momoka collected charges. Despite this, one need not worry for him; outside of the constant shocks with every pebble, twig and goldfish he picked up, he actually quite enjoyed the peace and quiet.
chapter #1
My name is Hikari no tamashi, and this is my story living a new life not as a sword but as a teenage female human. I woke to a strange room with two guys standing inside with me. Now don't get me wrong I thought one of them was cute however they scared me so a course I was going to scream at the top of my lungs.
"Oh, yes, I agree, that is the major charge," Momoka, in disguise as Giant Konnosuke with pink facial markings, was engaged in delightful conversation with an unintelligible, incensed Kaguya. "Historical aberration in TouRabu continuum is the worst. Being based on real historical artifacts is the game's entire draw; this made-up, nonexistent Sue sword defeats the point of the game. By the way, Kaguya-sama, do you know that TouRabu and other history-based games hugely improved my history scores? Eh, you've seen the real sword Juzumaru in person? I'm so jealous!"
"Oi, how long are ya two gunna keep chit-chattin'? Dya not notice dat dis OC touken danshi is a girl? Dat's about da second biggest charge after bein' a made-up sword!" Urato piped in. "Ya'll have plenty o' time to act like lovebirds when we gedda antidote done with n' go on vacation!"
"Sorry, Urato-kun," Momoka said. "Speaking of the vacation, where do you think we should go? Do you know any nice destination?"
"Hikari no tamashi." I said quietly, my voice was light and airy but it seemed these men are thick head as they were back in Edo period of Japan. Or I thought before a guy with red hair and also in strange clothing burst into the room.
"Kari." He said picking me up and spinning me around. My hair which was hidden with my hood was reviled. My secret had been brought to light by my idiot of an adopted big brother.
But before Urato could answer, they were shocked by a loud noise: Hikari the Sue had performed a round house kick to her Stu brother Yami no tamashi's chest and sent him flying through a wall, then stormed out of the Citadel building to wangst in the middle of a heavy rainstorm.
Why did they all have to be here, not like it matters, after all I was a cursed blade than and I am now.
At this turn of events, Urato mouthed whadda fuck, while Kaguya screamed like a banshee and lunged forward, only stopped from killing the Sue then and there by his maid. "He says the Sue is a judgemental, sexist and violent idiot," Momoka translated his cries, all while slinging his kicking and thrashing form over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, "and she reminds him way too much of Bakara for comfort."
Inasuke's black hair resembled gnarled branches from all the shocks, then was quickly drenched from the downpour conveniently summoned by the fic. The rain beat down all around him and pounded his head, almost flattening everything to the ground. Thunder cracked, lightning ripped the dark sky, wind whipped the rain in waves. But Inasuke refused to go inside or seek shelter.
A "fragment of the night" and a "seed of time" sounded like they could only be found outside, he reasoned. Though soaked and struggling to stay upright under the rain's weight, nothing was going to convince him to leave the fic empty-handed.
chapter # 2
The rainstorm ended as abruptly as it began. Awaiting the next chapter, the charge-collecting team sat outside the doorway to the room Hikari the Sue, Yami the Stu and a group of canon characters were in. The deafening rain was replaced by harsh, glaring sunlight; I could just tell the time from the shadows on the floor, it had to be about eleven or noon, quoth the Sue.
"Oh my name is Souza, you already know Sayo, and this is our brother Kousetsu. It's nice to meet you Hikari." Souza said changing the subject as a way to cheer me up. I was surprised that anyone know who I actually was. I mean sure I am the younger adopt sister of Ookanehira but that all anyone knows. I mainly hide from people than actually interact with them. I was hiding behind my curtain of thick brown hair when I heard shouting coming from the distance. I could also hear people running all over trying to stop something(s). It wasn't until a tiger cub came charging in did I realize what was going on.
In stark contrast to the previous chapter, this one comprised indomitably boring, meandering scenes between the Sues and canon characters. Save for one outburst about the Hikari the Sue revealing she was the adopted sister of Ōkanehira ("Yeah sure, we tot'lly believe 'Hira adopted ya when he was an inanimate sword," Urato chimed in as he wrote down the charge. "'Sides, do swords even have a concept of adopted n' biological family 'nyway?"), Kaguya otherwise remained silent – though with a face red as a chili pepper. Momoka handed him a bottle of mineral water that had turned room-temperature, which he took without a second thought.
"Hikari this is Gokotai. Gokotai this is the newest sword warrior Hikari no tamashi." Souza said introducing us to each other. Out of the five little tiger cubs only one wouldn't return to Gokotai's side, instead it wanted to stay next to me. I scratch behind the little guy's ears happy that I wasn't the only female here anymore. Or I think the cub is a girl I might be wrong thought.
"I swear 'na gods, dis is fricken' boring!" Urato whined. His Shinsengumi coat was already cast to the side, his forehead slick with sweat. After chugging down half of his own bottle of room-temperature water, he threw a glare at the other two: Momoka was enthusiastically fanning and wiping sweat for a still red-faced Kaguya, who daintily sipped his water. "We coulda been on vacation right now, n' yet we're here sufferin' through dis boring crap!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Momoka said to him after Kaguya's face had turned a lighter shade of red. "You must be really tired. I'm sorry all of this happened, but we only have two more ingredients. After that, we'll get our vacation in no time, and you'll have much deserved rest."
At this, Urato suddenly faced her. "I ain't tryinna get a vacation fer me. If I wanna take a break, I can just hang out all day in New Cal n' refuse to come back tah my RC. Dis whole vacation idea is mostly fer you two. Heck, it ain't even needa be fer all four; ya two can just go by yerselves."
Momoka immediately dropped her fan and her towel.
"Hikari..." Sohayanotsurugi said rushing to my side only for the cub to start growling at him, however Oodenta Mitsuyo was able to take Kousetsu's spot holding me up.
"Onii-san I'm scared." I whispered to weak from blood lost. I could feel my brother's hand on my back softly rubbing it trying to clam me down.
"For… for us?" Momoka said. "Kaguya-sama does need a nice break from all the badfics getting on his nerves, but you don't have to get a vacation for me, you know. Sure, seeing a bland Sue stealing people's pets, forcing a male canon to be her sappy brother and turning his hand into a clam is frustrating, but I don't think I need a break just yet. I like this job, you know? It's hectic, but fun. It's the only job I know of where no one looks at you weird for openly geeking out about shows and games; you're encouraged to openly geek out, even. It's the only workplace I know of where you don't have to worry about coming off as weird, because of the variety of species working here and the craziness that happens on a daily basis. I'm not tired, at least for now; Kaguya-sama, you and Inasuke-kun need a vacation more than me."
Urato sighed. "Look, it ain't 'bout bein' tired. It's 'cause…"
"Hey there Kari, how are you feeling?" Sohayanotsurugi asked coming into the room that I currently was sharing with Ookanehira, who was like a big brother to me because we were welded by the same clan. Hasebe couldn't believe that I was actually related to one of the five great swords of Japan. I know that Sohayanotsurugi was a copy, but that didn't mean anything to me, after all he was still my big brother.
And so Urato and Momoka's exchange was timely cut off by something utterly horrific. First, in front of the agents suddenly appeared a vision, in a manner rather similar to a shock site, of an Ikeda clansman in a visored helmet and holding an arc welding torch, welding the blade Ōkanehira with the Sue-blade. This expectedly lead to Kaguya's spitting out his water, choking, and howling at the historical aberration on display.
Inasuke did not regret asking to be assigned solo ingredient hunting. Not one bit.
The weather was fickle and unforgiving – heavy rain one moment, blistering sun the next. The ingredient search did not prove fruitful – the volume of his hair had grown enough to stash books in it. However, he would persevere.
chapter #3
In a few minutes I was sitting in the hot bath my hair pulled into a messy bun so that it doesn't get wet. Or that was until Hana (one of Gokotai's tigers, which the Sue had Aura-of-Smoothed to the point where poor Gokotai had to straight-up hand it over to her) pulled the ribbon I was using to keep my hair out of my way.
"Hana…" I said turning around only to see an old man with black hair longer on one side than the other. I had to think of where I had seen him before, or that was until I saw the crest on his back. Mizkazuki Munechika one of the five great swords of Japan.
The pink markings on Momoka-as-Giant-Konnosuke's face turned even redder than Kaguya's face moments before. Mizkazuki the mini-enemy tachi originally spawned as green, the weakest Revisionist type, but right after hearing Urato's words it turned red, the strongest type. "You… you've seen all of it?" Momoka blurted. She was more embarrassed than she had ever been, attempting to hide her then-huge face behind much smaller paws.
"Have ya forgotten how our doorway works? It's easier 'na walk in on ya guys than tah walk in on sumb'dy in a shared bathroom," Urato said, pointing at the contrived scene ahead where Mikazuki was made to be an accidental pervert to a bathing Hikari-Sue. "'N can ya believe New Cal bein' dat large yet ain't havin' a single love hotel? Man, ya two go at it like bloody rabbits… Inatchi n' I are gettin' a vacation just so ya can have space to yerselves, n' we have sum peace n' quiet fer a few days."
Momoka wished nothing more than for a plot hole to suddenly open, which she could then retreat into forever. She couldn't even bear to look at Kaguya; not only was this utterly embarrassing for her, it was also a stain on her master's honour. Perhaps after the mission, she would commit seppuku with her kitchen knife.
"Come on Hana let's go get breakfast." I said which got Sohayanotsurugi up, best way to a man's brain is through his stomach, now if that was only true for Oodenta than maybe I could wake him up.
As the three quietly followed the Sue to the kitchen, Momoka purposefully stayed at a distance from her partners and didn't dare look up. She didn't even directly watch the Sue's inane interaction with canons – she read the Words while keeping her gaze fixed to the ground. Mizkazuki perching on her shoulder could only stare quizzically at her.
"Ookurikra, Hikari are you two okay?" Shokudaikiri said sticking his head out side of the kitchen. Which ended up scaring me and stumbling backwards before landing on my pendant. It didn't help that the pendant was made of glass which had been apart of my twin blade handle. I was luckily when it didn't break when it fell onto the floor, so when I fell on it I wasn't expecting for it to break and cut into my upper leg.
"I don't need any friends." the guy I almost ran into said before leaving. I glared at him before pulling the piece of glass out of the back of my upper leg. I stood up and started walking perfectly fine. I know that I was not bleeding seeing as it was only a paper cut from the dull edge of the piece of glass. Folding my hands over both pieces of glass, pressing them fully back together. I sealed them the same way that my former master sealed my brother away, with an ancient sealing technical that was more important than anything else. As long as I could reseal my pendent than my brother will never be able to break his seal.
"Oi, Earth to giant fox!" Urato cried, startling Momoka visibly. Newly spawned Ookurikra the mini-enemy uchigatana poked her furred cheek. "Da heck was Guyatchi sayin' just now? Aren'cha da translator? Why didn'ja say 'nythin'?"
A flustered Momoka had to take a moment to recall what she heard Kaguya say. "Um, he says the Sue is still a sexist idiot, and, er, she's introducing a bunch of nonsensical things. Yeah, I think that's about it," she said, stuttering throughout.
She did not hear him say anything about Urato's revelation. At least, if her memory served her correctly.
"Abort, abort! I give up! I just can't find an ingredient anywhere, and I'm gonna die at this rate!" came a boy's cries and sobs. He was clad in a Shinsengumi uniform caked in dried mud, his black hair resembled a cross between dead tree branches and modern art, in his hand was a clean, untorn, unblemished scroll. He staggered toward Momoka, then slumped to the floor.
"Inasuke-kun!" Momoka cried, her embarrassment momentarily forgotten. She touched his face with her paw, and was taken by shock again. "Fever so high! Inasuke-kun, what happened? How did this happen?"
"Oi, we gotta get outta here first!" Urato called, stepping out of a portal alongside Kaguya. They brought along the Sue and her Stu brother, both of whom were tied up and resembling cocoons with poorly defined, low-poly human faces.
Kitchen knife in hand, Momoka announced, "Hikari the Sue and Yami the Stu, you're charged with crimes against Touken Ranbu fanfiction. Hikari is guilty of being a female member of a monogendered male species; tampering with real-world history, namely claiming to be 'welded' by the same clan as Ōkanehira; claiming to be Ōkanehira's adopted sister; calling him one of the Five Great Swords; glorifying sexist and violent behaviours; stealing one of Gokotai's tigers; forcing multiple canon characters to be your 'brothers'; and turning Sohayanotsurugi's hand into a clam. Yami is guilty of aiding and abetting a Sue; and being a bland, pointless, unnecessary character. You're both guilty of being nonexistent swords, thus defeating the game's theme about historical artifacts; introducing fantasy elements that don't make sense within the game's universe; creating a meandering, banal narrative; and being Sues. For this, we're executing you."
A quick knifing of the Suvians later, something unexpected happened. The ingredient list scroll floated out of Inasuke's hand, and once it got close to the uncanonical "ancient sealing technical" glass pendant the Sue had, the item "a fragment of the night" disappeared. "Right, the Stu's name is Yami, and the Sue said something about this weird pendant being used to seal him," Momoka said. "But Inasuke-kun's gotten a really bad fever. Let's get home quick and let him get some rest."
The mission was complete, but not all was well.
Minis (all up for adoption):
- Mizkazuki
- Ookurikra
